I am so glad to be home. The last two weeks have been very tense and the source of a lot of stress, learning, and exhaustion. But at the same time, I must return to the reality of all I left. It was a little overwhelming yesterday, but I’m guessing that has something to do with the fact that Tuesday night only yielded two hours of sleep (I had to finish creating the camp movie and we didn’t get back from Broadway until 1:30…so finishing th e movie until 4:30am was the way it was.)

I feel like I need some sort of re-entry period to get back into the routine, but I also wish there were things that I could have just left somewhere along the NJ Turnpike. Feelings, frustrations, sadness….but they had to come back with me, or rather, awaited my return.

Time to find balance. Time to find out what home really means…

At 12:04am I have finished my “Letter to Head” and “Final Reflection” from these last week’s of adventure. They are uploaded to our Moodle site and await feedback. As my next door friend said, “don’t belabor it, just click send.” I am particularly pleased with my reflection as I spent quite a bit of time trying to take out the “whine” factor and really focus on the goals I hope to bring back to school next fall.

Now, I think I will spend a bit of time on the imovie that I am heading up as for our final farewell day. I had a coke at 9:30pm, so it isn’t like sleeping is likely anyway.

Just found out that I’m working both all day Thursday and all day Friday at the shop. So much for a day of break before hopping back in full force. One thing I will say is…I can’t wait to swim laps, my poor deltoids and triceps are so atrophied I desperately need some time in the water (I’m having a “Sweetest Thing” arm situation).

All right, enough ranting for now. Time to tap into my inner Steven Spielberg or at least, my inner Dawson Leery.

Peace.

We are reaching the point in the Institute where we have started to have our “lasts”. Last Friday was Chef Gary’s last meal with us, yesterday was our last diversity session, and today is our last curriculum session. We are spending about four hours today on “Change”, which of course makes me really happy as all of the readings were consistent with all of the reading I’ve done at Hopkins. Now begins the two day task of reflecting what we are taking from this and what we will bring back to our school. I’m excited, nervous, and in-flux as to what those things might be.

In our reflection last night, we wrote a letter to ourselves that I’m assuming someone at KSI will send to us mid year. We were supposed to write our hopes of what we would take from the two weeks here and I formed mine in several paragraphs of questions. What am I taking from here about curriculum and instruction? What am I taking from here in terms of leadership? What am I taking here in terms of facing difficult issues within the school? Each paragraph had specific thoughts that I hope to be at least thinking about as I leave this amazing experience. Also, I have a paragraph about keeping up with colleagues. I have formed good working relationships with several teachers who I think will challenge me, if I ask and likewise, I them. But they will only be maintained if there is a conscious effort.

These two weeks have been a bit like my fellowship six years ago, only condensed and intense. I feel a deep sense of gratitude that, for whatever reason, the selection committee decided to add me to the roster this summer. I hope that I have worked very hard, shared well without ranting too much, and have served some positive role in the community.

The next two days will probably be quite busy as I have offered to take the lead on the end-of-camp slide show. This is a monumental endeavor and I hope that it will provide joy to its viewers.

Dear reader, have a great Monday.

I tried to use my rest time wisely today. As it was 90 degrees and thick outside, I ventured to the school fitness center for a treadmill time. Alas, I was quite disappointed to see that the treadmills dated to about 1985, but thought I would take a whirl anyway. I managed a nice clip 9 minute pace for 3 miles. This felt quite nice but boredom sunk in…so I ventured to the track for a change of scenery and a chance to work on self-pacing. I have been without a consistently-working Garmin for over a year and I think that on one level it has helped me reduce my obsession with time/pace/distance but….it has also meant that I have gotten slower and run shorter as a result. So, I did some track work to see if my metronome (as Mick used to say) was still working. I didn’t want to do speed work, just pacing. So I set my goal on 8 min/mi (2:00min/lap) and managed to go spot on for two miles with a water break in the middle since it was hotter than the seventh layer of H*&^ outside.

I have been amazed at how well I have been running/biking since I’ve been here. I have felt energized, have not had a lot of aches and pains, and was particularly pleased with my biking 20 miles this week. I am certainly not getting enough sleep, but what I am getting (duh) is really nutritious food. I think I have underestimated the power that food has played in my athletic performance. The consistent consumption of A. healthy food and B. enough food is critical to my health. Now, if only I could have a private chef cooking two meals a day for me from local, organic, and non-processed ingredients….oh wait…I just woke up. But certainly there must be a way for me to make truly healthy meals for one??? I think the key is diversity. We have not repeated a single dish at lunch and dinner in all of the time here. Every meal has at least one protein. Every meal has multiple vegetables and we have had potatoes as a starch only sparingly. Ah ha! So all those books I’ve read on performance nutrition are actually true…. Ok, broccoli, spinach, red peppers, barley, here I come.

Oh yes, I mentioned a little something about Jack Johnson. I have blogged a lot about Sara Groves and the impact she has made on me, but today I found a new song that really helped me process where my brain needs to consider going. It is not there yet and I’m not saying I want to go there, but I should consider it. If you have the chance…”Sitting, Waiting, Wishing” by Jack Johnson. While you’re at it, check out his songs from the Curious George soundtrack, they’ll just make you happy.

Tonight there is no homework so I shall rest before gearing up at 8am tomorrow for “Critical Friends Group”. We just had the plenary session describing the protocol for it. Yes, I am officially scared. As Nigel says in The Devil Wears Prada, “All right everybody, gird your loins!” (I love Stanley Tucci)….

Good Night dear reader. God Bless You.

The last 24 hours have been really intense. We were given a crash course yesterday in Enduring Understandings (EU’s) and Performance Based Assessments yesterday in Curriculum Group. I had some experience with both of these concepts based on Understanding By Design by Wiggins and McTighe from MCPS. The interesting thing about these concepts is that in a constructivist setting, as we are working in here, they take on a whole new layer of depth.

After stuffing our brain with the basics, we chose groups and were off to build a PBA. A Performance Based Assessment is the assessment of an Enduring Understanding which we based off of a Concept or Big Idea. Our group chose the big idea of “Relationships”, after debate on topics such as Communication, Equity, Social Justice, Friendship, and Organization. We worked to build our Enduring Understandings and then went for a critique session with our Lead Teachers. We had quite an intense half hour with them before shipping off to bed nervous and confused.

Today we worked for four hours based on the critiques and then worked again with our LT’s to further identify and clarify our EU’s, Knowledge/Skill, and definitions of our PBA. We had it “all wrong” at one point, but I am really pleased with the way we worked together to build a way for our students to transfer their understanding of relationships found in building of cities to interpersonal relationships among groups in which they participate. The entire Institute went to lunch exhausted, but relieved to have completed such a task.

Lunch=Vegetarian Burrito, Roast Beef sandwich with goat cheese and caramelized onions, the most tasty french fries ever, roasted zucchini and eggplant. VERY fulfilling.

MOre in a bit…

Yesterday was a busy busy day and there was just no time….so I’m just doing a food report.

Dinner last night: Smoked Duck and Smoked Turkey, tossed red potatoes, roasted barley with red peppers, green beans ammandine, fresh cranberries, corn muffins. The guest chef of the evening told us all about how he observed the fowl through their growth and how he used his own hands to prepare them (read: kill them) for eating.

Whew..

More later on the experience of writing Performance Based Assessments, running, solitude, the effects of a good diet on athletic performance, and Jack Johnson later tonight.

We have officially been here a week as of today. It feels like it has been a month. My brain is working on serious “start up disk full” mode so I’m so thankful for this afternoon being completely free. I just took a 20 mile bike ride and saw several adorable towns (Mt. Rose, Hopewell, Pennington). The headwind was mighty but the skies clear and despite the very large chunks out of much of the roads, it was a lovely time. (Blue needs a rest, she took a lot of shock absorption for me today)

As we are a week in I’m reaching that place where I realize how hard it is for me to fit in so much of the time. This happens to me a lot at conferences, workshops, camp, in social settings. I get so stressed out by it. I also really really really need feedback from my instructors. I’m the type of person who needs to know how I’m “doing” in every situation but particularly in a situation of learning. To receive no feedback, positive or negative, whatsoever is really frustrating. It is in my nature to assume the worst, or rather that people’s opinions of me are negative, if I don’t have confirmation one way or the other. I realize that this is a personal flaw, but it is so easily assuaged. Just needing to know where I stand, in the scheme of success or failure, is so important to me. The ambiguity of our progress is very stressful to me and I think in turn causes me to grow deeper into the turtle shell. Thus, the vicious circle of my introversion continues…

Tonight, an opportunity to try to reach out….Trenton Thunder. Give it up for AA baseball dear reader, you know you’re excited for me! It is bobble-head doll night, but let’s face it, it is KSI night at the ball park, so it will certainly involve beer and loudness! Woo Hoo.

(lunch report-tom/mozz/pesto grilled sandwich (all local), arugula salad w/ grilled shrimp, gazpacho-another triumph. The arugula here is incredible.)

We have a one hour presentation today by Chef Gary, the most amazing chef ever, but even more than that…my new sustainability guru. Five years ago, he joined the Lawrenceville community and has turned the entire food world in both the school and local community upside down. He is an educator of the highest degree and is what we could only hope that all of our schools could have, Alice Waters, eat your heart out.

I am happy to share his ppt. with anyone interested but I will point you to some neat things for reading pleasure.

http://www.sustainablefare.com/index.htm
http://www.terhuneorchards.com/
http://www.attrainternships.ncat.org/internDetail2.asp?id=408

I will mostly extol the virtues of tonight’s salad. Greens (including arugula!!) from the Lawrenceville School garden (KSI friends helped pick them), local blueberries, local goat cheese, walnuts, and lemon honey vinaigrette.

Amazing. Inspiring. Overwhelming.

Peace.

This was supposed to be yesterday’s blog, but Blogger decided to eat part of the post.

Oh the best part of today, other than the food, of course, was just found at the end of the day. After exhilerating and challenging sessions in our Diversity groups (where our topic was White Privilege), the campus was a-buzz with chatter. Everyone was leaving the sessions wanted to talk more, wanting to continue to have the conversations, it was thrilling.

Being among this group of educators is challenging, humbling, and invigorating. Just like going to Chorus camp or soccer camp or computer camp brings delight to kids being grouped together by affinities, being at “KSI Teacher Camp” is that same feeling. I am here, on this amazing campus, with 75 other passionate, caring, dedicated, and dare I say intelligent teachers. Teachers who value life-long learning, who are not satisfied with the status quo and dare to go beyond the current state of their own schools to reach our children better.

I have struggled in the last few days with feeling really inadequate in my curriculum group. I am not a classroom teacher and worry that all of the wonderful information I’m learning will be very hard to apply in 40-min./week classes. I also worry that my contributions to the class are not useful to the other colleagues. I hope that I can bring some kind of perspective as to the role the specialist teacher can play, but I’m not sure how that is in the cards yet. However, today for a few minutes, I felt really useful as I set up a new NING for the group. I am very thankful to my school friends AA and ABD for teaching me about NINGs this year. They are such a great networking tool and when they catch on, are so useful in so many situations. I hope that the group finds this helpful.

(I wrote a whole three more paragraphs before blogger went into shut down….here is my attempted re-creation.)

In my search to get off of the LS campus in order to focus, I went into Princeton. The biggest reason I went was to burn off the desperate desire to go to the Life is Good store on the main street. After getting my fill of that, I headed over to Small World Coffee for a different study spot. Oh My Goodness, Good Coffee. Strangely served in a pint glass (burn unit anyone?), but tasty and not burnt like many coffees. I subsequently learned that SWC can be found in Lawrenceville at the local bakery. Once I was happily buzzed and up to my ears in readings, I hustled back to campus in time for dinner.

I am so glad that I came back for dinner. We have had good food but this was off the cuff good. Shrimp and Mussels Zuppa (not for me, but smelled great), Homemade cheese tortellini with local fresh tomato sauce, local roasted summer squash, local heirloom tomato and local (a mile down the road local) fresh mozzarella with basil, bread from the bakery across the street. We topped it all off homemade (again, across the street) shortcake with fresh organic whipped cream, local blueberries and strawberries. We were quite sufficiently stuffed as we went into our diversity session.

My head is in a constant state of whirl and I’m finding my addiction to caffeine growing stronger the more I don’t sleep, but it is just because there is so much to do that there isn’t enough time to process any of it. What I have processed is that there is so much I want to do at my school and I’m fearful that I won’t even be able to do one-tenth of my hopes.

Alas, for now, I hold dearly onto my coffee cup, baby mac, and highlighter.

Peace.

I need five minutes of break from reading so I’ll give an update…

Last night, about 45 of us went into Princeton and enjoyed a very LOUD meal at the Triumph Brewery. It was a great place with good beer and food. I think I must have eaten too much because I really felt quite poor and did not finish all but a few sips of my second Honey Wheat. (WHat? An unfinished beer? Surely something is wrong)

Luckily, some new friends wanted to traipse the old world campus of Princeton and that, while difficult due to ailment, was neat. What a campus. That’s a whole ‘nother entry entirely.

Decided not to go for the evening’s party of frivolity and beer pong due to digestional disarray and felt quite hard to sleep for 10 hours!!!

Got up and rode my bike about 15 miles including all the way down to the main road and back onto the Princeton campus. Again, it was amazing to look at the vast castles within which teenager/young adults actually have the privilege to learn. It was here that I found the one “small” (very small) hill of the day and rode it in a big gear to simulate a much larger hill experience.

Returned to LS campus just in time to be safe from a short but loud thunderstorm. Since brunch I have been reading and reflecting on topics such as, “behavorism vs. cognitivism/cognitive science”, “operant vs. classical conditioning”, and effort based vs. intelligence based praise….

I have an hour until our work returns. Tonight we have 2 hours of curriculum group and then 2 hours of plenary session entitled, “Teacher as Diagnostician”. We have a tremendous amount of homework for Monday, so I picture a LONG night.

Tomorrow the week of full day work begins. This is really difficult work, but for the first time in a LONG LONG time, I feel challenged. I think however that I may need a week off after all of this just to process and re-gain sleep…

By the way…Happy 89th Birthday to my awesome Grandma!!!!

Peace.