We have officially been here a week as of today. It feels like it has been a month. My brain is working on serious “start up disk full” mode so I’m so thankful for this afternoon being completely free. I just took a 20 mile bike ride and saw several adorable towns (Mt. Rose, Hopewell, Pennington). The headwind was mighty but the skies clear and despite the very large chunks out of much of the roads, it was a lovely time. (Blue needs a rest, she took a lot of shock absorption for me today)
As we are a week in I’m reaching that place where I realize how hard it is for me to fit in so much of the time. This happens to me a lot at conferences, workshops, camp, in social settings. I get so stressed out by it. I also really really really need feedback from my instructors. I’m the type of person who needs to know how I’m “doing” in every situation but particularly in a situation of learning. To receive no feedback, positive or negative, whatsoever is really frustrating. It is in my nature to assume the worst, or rather that people’s opinions of me are negative, if I don’t have confirmation one way or the other. I realize that this is a personal flaw, but it is so easily assuaged. Just needing to know where I stand, in the scheme of success or failure, is so important to me. The ambiguity of our progress is very stressful to me and I think in turn causes me to grow deeper into the turtle shell. Thus, the vicious circle of my introversion continues…
Tonight, an opportunity to try to reach out….Trenton Thunder. Give it up for AA baseball dear reader, you know you’re excited for me! It is bobble-head doll night, but let’s face it, it is KSI night at the ball park, so it will certainly involve beer and loudness! Woo Hoo.
(lunch report-tom/mozz/pesto grilled sandwich (all local), arugula salad w/ grilled shrimp, gazpacho-another triumph. The arugula here is incredible.)