New awareness

Life is super crazy these days. Life changes galore including new job, saying goodbye to old job, performing in Chicago, family changes, packing and moving etc. This has raised my stress level to def-con 5. I find that I am eating a lot of crap in response, not all bad, but definitely out of balance. I know intellectually that if I ate better, more greens and no diary, that I would feel better. But from an emotional outlet perspective I am completely aware that my bad eating is a way to provide control in a world of turmoil. It is completely conscious. I am fully aware of my choices and I think this is a good first step.

I am such a big picture person that so much of what I see is in extremes, black and white. As I grow older and weather big storms I’m slowly starting to learn that short term responses do not always mean life long destruction. As long as there is a clear awareness and understanding that these short term fixes will not enact long term change. Sometimes there is need for short term relief and sometimes it is more appropriate to focus on the big picture changes. Both foci have validity in a well lived life.

The same thing has been true with my running and training in the last two years since IM. I am now starting to see the long term effects of not training and that was the wake up call I needed to restart the engine. Again a long process of change begins. But I am aware now that in the scheme of life that there is a time for things to be out of balance a bit for the clear path to be laid straight.

It is with this new awareness does not mean automatic change but rather an acknowledgement of life as a process. Life truly is a winding journey and not a series of absolutes. Oh blessed life.

One thought on “New awareness

  1. Anna Barton June 4, 2011 / 2:36 am

    Amen and well said! Life is a growth journey – sometimes with no clear map. Knowing the very big picture and direction helps one deal with all the twists and turns of life….

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