I write from my red chair tonight contemplating where I shall go this year (well, technically next) with my running/athletic life. This summer/fall training and racing season behind me and one full month past since my 2nd marathon, I find myself completely uninterested at the prospect of another round of training. Perhaps this is the post-marathon slump, but after watching my PR plummet by over 20 minutes this season, I wonder why am I still doing this?
I feel as though I have disappointed everyone who knows me with my poor performances. I feel as though all those with whom I train have thoroughly surpassed my ability and while they challenge me; I feel I bring them down or prevent them from doing their best.
I am at a crossroads where I need to make commitments to:
A. Run another marathon and run my tail off to bring my decent times back?
B. Run a marathon for fun (as NYC was) and just enjoy the training?
C. Just continue running for fitness and overall health?
D. Bag the distance thing and stick to sprint triathlons?
I do not want this to be the end of five years of running, but I need some kind of fresh start.