As I continue on this journey towards joining the pack known as Triathletes, I find myself having more and more mixed feelings. The perfectionist in me wants to be good at each sport right away and then build up to a semi-competitive state. However, the reality I must face is that on the bike, I down right suck. My muscles that propel me through the water and push me step by step on the road, just do not function the same when attached to 30 pound metal and chain contraption.
Sports psychologists (and regular ones for that matter) talk a lot about positive self-talks. There is even an article in Runner’s World this month that talks about mantras. I think that if I’m telling myself I suck on the bike, of course I will suck on the bike. Then there is that whole fear of falling down.
My dear friend (a soon-to-be IRONWOMAN!) went for an easy ride with me this week and said “what will happen if you fall down?”. I went on to describe that honestly, even my slow yet bloody and scary crash last summer wasn’t all that bad, we still finished the ride. So what is it I’m afraid of exactly? The speed, the wind, the cars, the left turns from a complete stop? Why is it that my cadence is so incredibly slow?
Perhaps it is fear that if I work really hard at this that I will reach a level similar to that in swimming and running, where I have to work even harder to maintain mediocrity?
Perhaps it is not fear of failure, but rather fear of success?