counting in Tuesdays

It seems like every 7 days begin and end on a Tuesday.

Much in the same way it feels like my life has to stop and restart every Tuesday.

No day has been the same but Tuesdays in particular are not my favorite. It is as if they hold a particular vice grip on my heart allowing my soul to only experience the shell of being rather than truly living life.

Today we are on the 9th Tuesday if you count the worst day, which I do.

I wonder if there will come a time when I don’t count Tuesdays anymore and they will fade into the shade of every other day.

The in and out of life where our highs and lows seem more in the middle and our blacks and whites seem more grey.

I want to recall the previous Tuesday. Or the previous Sunday or Saturday or Thursday afternoon but I can’t just yet as hard as I may try.

For now, the Tuesday is a haunting; re-breaking my heart into tiny crumbles each seven day cycle.

I long for the Tuesday before.

And I press on to the Tuesday to come.

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2 thoughts on “counting in Tuesdays

  1. kylematthewoliver December 9, 2014 / 6:39 pm

    This is so tender and honest, Sarah. Thank you. Prayers.

  2. Denise Tripp December 9, 2014 / 7:26 pm

    Annie now knows the words to “Here I am Lord”. We sing for you and Ken, we sing because Annie wants to know Jesus. Love to you, on all your Tuesdays.

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