All day on Thursday I couldn’t get rid of the movie line from “13 Going on 30” — “I want to be 30, I want to be 30, flirty, and thriving.” I kept saying it to everyone, just as a bit of a joke. I certainly don’t want to be flirty. I just don’t think that is my personality, but thriving. Oh yes, please. I want to begin or sustain a life in which, like the Kaiser commercial featuring Allison Janney, I thrive.
I’m glad to be 30. The 20’s have been such a roller coaster and while I know that the next year or so will continue to be a great dance of limbo, I’m have to believe that the 30’s will bring some kind of tranquility. An ability to go beyond childish experimentation and self-definition and movement towards self-refinement and strength. I want to actually be healthy and active, rather than living on the periphery of activity. I want to really explore what I can to do serve others for that is when I feel the most happy. I want to thrive.
I woke up this morning feeling completely unmotivated to get out of bed early to go to 8am church. After a day that included 13 miles in the humid morning and 5 hours with the nieces extraordinaire in Baltimore, I was tuckered out, didn’t sleep well and felt no interest to hustle before I went to work at 11. So instead of worshiping at my lovely Episcopal church, I had “pajama church”. This equals me in pajamas and Joel Osteen’s sermon program. I take Mr. Osteen’s message with a grain of Episcopalian salt. He is a prosperity preacher in a mega church, but his message is Bible-based and inspiring. Each week he gives a 30 minute message (which I podcast) that generally talks about how we can succeed in anything with the help of the Lord.
How appropriate that today his message was, “Thriving, not Surviving”. He gave biblical examples, such as Abraham, of how we thrive when we put our complete trust and faith in God despite all odds. I have spent a lot of the last six months in “survival” mode, or at least, my version of it. By no means am I “surviving” in the way that most people would think; I have abundant blessings too numerous to mention. But, I haven’t really been moving forward. I have felt like I have had to put life on “hold” while I sort out and deal with loss and confusion. What I took from the message today was not about action, it was about mind set. If I keep telling myself that “life is over” or “I can’t move forward”, I will certainly stay in a mode that is stagnant. If I stay in a mode of “why me”, I will not be able to look to all of the good things that God has given me to thrive.
If I want to thrive, it is simply a matter of mind. I need to remind myself, daily, minute-by-minute, each second, that God is in control. I could lose everything material but still be whole. I may feel broken or stuck in survival mode, but if I put complete trust in God’s plan, I will thrive.
“For those who wait upon the Lord will rise up on the wings of eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Those who wait upon the Lord will run and not be weary. This is how I paraphrase this verse. This stands out to me right now about the power of thriving under the wings of God. I know that if I put my hope in God’s purpose, that I will not fail, I will be whole.