Dreams take on many forms. Sometimes they are the passions that you work hard to achieve. Sometimes dreams are the things that wake you in the night breathless. Sometimes they are the mindful fancies of immaturity. Sometimes they are wishes. I’ve been pondering dreams lately as I approach year two since Kenny left this world. I continue to grieve lost dreams, lost hopes, lost plans.
C.S. Lewis reminds us that “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind” but I’m not entirely sure I believe it. I want to believe that some of the best things I have done in the past or left behind will not be outdone. I want to believe that for those six years that the moments of glimmer from the shore of Mirror Lake to the first cup of coffee to the epic breakdown on Kent Island can’t be repeated and won’t be replaced.
But how do you move forward when these dreams die? What is the catalyst? Can you ever really leave the dreams behind or will they always linger in the ether?
I have a ring that I purchased for myself and it says “forward” because no matter what dreams are dashed, one must move forward. I cannot allow myself to be stuck in the mire of grief. It may not get better, but I will trudge through faithfully until new dreams are implanted in my mind and heart.