I love advent. The hymns, the candles, the purple (blue) vestments. But more than all of the aesthetics, I love the waiting. The expectation of the celebration of the birth of Christ. The mystery of how the foundation of our faith came to be.
Today’s calendar page reads: when we stay in faith, positive, expectant, and hopeful, then all the forces of darkness cannot keep God from bringing those promises to pass. I have tried very hard in these last ten months to have this hopefulness, this positive outlook, expecting great things from God. But I have grown a bit weary.
I have missed most of advent this year. Choosing sleep over early worship. Choosing television and facebook time over scripture. I have missed the point. I have not centered upon the expectancy of our coming Lord. I have missed the joy that comes from waiting for the mystery to reveal itself.
I wonder how long I will use the “I’m too busy” excuse; for I find it is losing its fidelity in my own mind. At some point in the coming days and weeks, I must firmly define what is important and let go of that which does not serve others, God, or even my own self in a positive manner. This includes the excuse of busyness. Time must be made and recaptured. But at the same time, the hopefulness cannot be lost. The firm belief that God is at the center of this veiled mystery called life. This must be my own advent.